Sea and sexual awakening

 

Going on holiday with my parents is not exactly my idea of a good time and I had practically begged them to let me stay at home so I could spend the school holiday with my friends but they refused and dragged me along with them. The only good things about this whole ordeal is that the hotel we are staying at is near the beach and I have a room to myself. The boredom is real though as the town we are staying in seems to be aimed at older people and is set up like some kind of retro blast from the past with everything looking like it belongs in the nineteen eighties or is from the eighties with nothing for a teenage girl like myself to do except spend all my time on the beach or texting my friends.

The weather for the week we have been here has been great, sunny and almost constantly hot which is annoying when you’re trying to sleep but gives me the perfect reason to sleep naked instead of in the pyjamas my parents force on me at home. I had spent the first three days of the holiday forced to follow my parents around as they spent their time exploring the town and reminiscing about what they called a simpler more happy time but I just called boring and dull. I had spent those three days complaining about how absolutely bored I was and how much I wish they had let me stay at home, on the fourth day my mom snapped and told me that if I was that bored then I should find a way to entertain myself and give her and dad some time alone together which was music to my ears.

I have spent every day since on the beach for most of the day in a bikini that I had been forced to buy in secret because it is very revealing and would probably cause my rather conservative parents to have a heart attack if they saw me wearing it. I love it though, I like my body and the way the bikini makes me feel sexy with me actually enjoying the way people look at me, men and women with lust and attraction but more jealousy from the women. I had actually found myself getting aroused by the sight of myself in the bikini while standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror in my hotel room while thinking about the way people had been looking at me. I had found my hands creeping into the black mini thong bikini bottoms that showed off my entire ass and a small yet not obscene camel toe, I had stood there and kept the entire bikini on me as I watched myself in the mirror finger fuck myself to a powerful orgasm.

The way I look and the looks people gave me weren’t the only thoughts in my mind as I finger fucked myself, the other thought in my mind was weirdly of a girl, a girl I met two days earlier. I’ve never been sexually attracted to a person before, I’ve admired peoples physical looks and could easily appreciate the beauty of both men and women but when it came to sexual fantasies I was always alone and never with someone else. I had worried I was broken for a long time until I did some searching on the internet and found the term autosexual which refers to people who are aroused by themselves and want to engage in sexual activities with themselves and not other people which made me feel less weird and fucked up.

The fact that I was thinking about this girl I had only just met two days ago as I brought myself to an orgasm confused me because I had never thought about someone before when I masturbate only myself. I felt uncomfortable that she kept popping into my head while I finger fucked myself not because I didn’t want to imagine her being there with me but because I did imagine her there with me, I imagined her on the bed just off to the side of me watching me as I got myself off while she did the same. The fantasy actually made me even more aroused than I had been before it popped into my head and I found myself wishing that she was here with me, the idea of her watching me get myself off giving me an orgasm more powerful than any I had experienced before.

I had met this girl two days ago on the second day of freedom from my parents, it wasn’t what you would call a normal first time meeting someone because I was on the beach relaxing on a beach recliner wearing my bikini and a pair of shades so I could see the way people looked at me without them knowing what I was doing. I was enjoying myself and would have happily stayed there all day working on my tan when suddenly out of nowhere this girl ran up to me, grabbed my hand and dragged me to my feet shouting at me to come on and hurry up. I was honestly pretty scared and worried as I stumbled along the beach in my sandals being dragged along by a seemingly crazy girl in a rather short white sundress, I had no idea who this girl is, what she wanted or even if she was sane or not.

I tried to stop her from dragging me along but she was stronger than me and easily pulled me along, I wanted to shout or scream at her but I was so stunned by what was happening that I couldn’t speak at all, all I could do was be dragged along by her. We had finally come to a stop where the sandy beach ended and met a large area of rocks and boulders, the girl had let go of my hand and turned around to look at me giving me my first view of her face. The girl turned out to be very beautiful with tan skin, big amber eyes and long wavy light brown hair that fell to below her boobs, she had an hourglass type figure with large boobs, wide hips and a big ass that combined with her soft facial features no doubt got her a lot of admiring looks. I thought that she would get a lot of lustful looks especially wearing the dress she was which was a small shoulderless white sundress that barely contained her boobs and stopped only just below her ass.

She told me that she thought I looked bored and lonely and needed someone to show me a good time and have fun with. She informed me that her name was Elena and that she was a local and could tell I was a tourist because she knew everyone our age in town, she seemed like one of those bubbly and excitable people and I felt comfortable with her even with the weird way she had dragged me away from the beach recliner. She told me that she thought I was brave to be on the beach on my own dressed in such a revealing bikini because she had been harassed by multiple guys on the beach who had tried to convince her to let them sleep with her and wouldn’t take no for an answer until one of her friends came and helped her out, she said that she was wearing the same white sundress when that had happened.

She told me that she had some really cool places that she wanted to show me and once again grabbed my hand dragging me off over the rocks. We hadn’t gone very far over the rocks and I was struggling because of my sandals when suddenly Elena very animatedly and comically exclaimed that she was an idiot because she hadn’t even asked me my name, I told her that my name was Riley and she just replied by saying that it was a cute name with a smile on her face. She had showed me a whole bunch of cool things that day like a rock pool where the water actually drained out through the back towards land not the sea even though it was full of seawater, a cave just inland where a pirate supposedly buried some treasure which we spent an hour or so half heartedly looking for and a pond in the forest on the outskirts of town that only the locals seem to know about that they want to keep that way because of how nice it is there.

That day had been amazing and even though I had been walking around in my tiny revealing bikini all day with someone I had only just met I hadn’t felt uncomfortable at all with Elena and had actually had a really fun and exciting day. I had felt almost upset when Elena had told me that she had to head for home and hadn’t wanted to part ways without getting her phone number but her phone was dead and she couldn’t remember her number, even if she had I didn’t have my phone so probably would have forgotten it by the time I got back to my hotel room. We eventually decided that we would meet up again the next day so we could not only exchange phone numbers but spend more time together as we had seemingly enjoyed each others company, before leaving she had pointed out an ice cream kiosk on the edge of the beach and said to meet her there at twelve tomorrow.

I had left the hotel yesterday with time to spare before I was supposed to meet up with Elena as I had been rather excited to meet up and hang out with the strange yet exciting and beautiful girl. I had expected another day of exploring with Elena so instead of wearing my bikini I had put on another outfit that I had to buy in secret, a pair of denim short shorts that are so short that they barely cover my ass and a tube top that covers just my boobs but makes it look like they are about to spill out. I was so excited to meet up with Elena to the point where I couldn’t remember the last time I was that excited about anything, I was that excited that I could feel butterflies in my stomach the whole time I walked from the hotel to the ice cream kiosk arriving almost fifteen minutes earlier than we had agreed on the day before.

I must have waited for almost an hour and a half after the time we had agreed to meet with my excitement and hope that she will actually meet me dying a little more with every passing minute. I had left after the hour and a half feeling upset and stupid because I had believed that she would show up and I would get to spend more time with this girl who I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since we parted ways the day before. I returned to my hotel room cursing both Elena and myself for the entire walk back, Elena for not showing up and myself for desperately hoping that she would. My emotions had boiled over once I got back in the hotel room and I had started to cry, I don’t know why Elena not turning up had hurt me so much but it had and I had spent the rest of the day either in tears or in a rage that is completely unlike me.

It had been yesterday when I was supposed to meet back up with Elena and it was only a matter of minutes ago when I had masturbated in my bikini with the fantasy of Elena watching me and masturbating too. I was about to head to the beach when I had caught sight of myself in the mirror and felt myself getting aroused then finger fucked myself to an orgasm, I know I should probably change out of the bikini or at least the bottoms as they are wet with my juices and girl cum but as I grip the top of the bikini bottoms I realise that I don’t care. I’m not sure if my new attitude of not caring if people see or even smell my juices and girl cum on my bikini bottoms is still from the anger and sadness from being ghosted by Elena or what, but in the end I walk out of the hotel room still wearing the bikini.

I had decided to leave and get to the beach early so I could find a nice spot before people started crowding onto the sand but after masturbating it is closer to mid day when I finally arrive at the beach. The beach is already crowded when I get there with middle aged men and women walking around in swimsuits, shorts and t shirts or dresses, I once again get a lot of looks as I walk onto the beach but for some reason today they don’t make me feel sexy or give me a thrill like they have before. I don’t know if it is because today it is mostly older people on the beach with them all looking to be at least in their forties or if it is a left over feeling from being let down by Elena but today I just feel repulsed and annoyed with their looks and want to shout at them to fuck off and stop being such perverts.

I can feel myself getting more annoyed as I look around the beach and see that all of the beach recliners have people on them with none of them looking like they are going anywhere any time soon. I start to walk off along the beach thinking that maybe because it is all older people on the beach they might have all stayed close to the town and not gone too far along the beach away from the town. I hadn’t realised it when I started walking but after a few minutes of walking past all the older people lounging on the beach recliners I see a large rocky area up ahead of me and instead of thinking that I finally have somewhere I can sit without getting covered in sand my first thought is about Elena and how she had dragged me here the other day.

I feel so many emotions and things right now that I kind of just want to scream and let out some of my feelings of anger, sadness and the want to see her again. I don’t scream because I’m sure it would draw more attention to me which is something I don’t want for the first time ever while wearing this bikini, what I actually do is walk over to the rocks where I sit down. I want to enjoy myself like I had been before Elena had unexpectedly came into my life, I want to go back to that day when Elena had dragged me off down the beach and stop myself from going with her after she had let go of me so I could go back to relaxing on the beach and not feel all these things I am feeling, things that have made me cry and are still hurting me.

“Riley? Hi.” I hear a voice speak almost shyly and even with my eyes closed I know that the voice belongs to the one person I really don’t want to see right now, Elena.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I open my eyes and look up at her before speaking trying to sound as confused as possible to try and hurt her because she hurt me, it’s hard though because hearing and seeing her has my heart racing.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, can I please explain myself?” She sounds so sad when she speaks and a big part of me wants to quickly agree and let her explain herself but at the same time I want to hurt her like over been hurting.

“Yesterday? What happened yesterday?” I ask her but in that kind of voice that makes it obvious that I know what happened but want to be awkward about it.

“Riley, please.” She pleads with me as she sounds and looks like she is about to break down in tears at any second.

“Fine, but it better be a good explanation.” I snap annoyed with myself for giving in and giving her the chance to explain herself but also because seeing her on the verge of tears makes me want to comfort her.

“I was scared.” She whispers sounding like she is still scared, her words aren’t enough for me though and I’m about to tell her that when suddenly she speaks again.

“I lied when I said I dragged you along with me because you looked bored, I did it because I thought you were beautiful. I know that sounds creepy but I couldn’t help myself, then when you spent the day with me and I got to know you I started to fall for you. God, now I sound crazy.” Elena laughs as she calls herself crazy and I’m about to speak to agree with her but then I think about the way I’ve been feeling and thinking about her and decide to keep quiet and let her continue her explanation.

“I’ve always thought that I’m broken or a freak because I don’t really give a shit about people. I mean I can pretend to care well enough to convince people I’m their friend but really I don’t care enough to even want to see then again, that all changed when I met a girl.” She pauses when she mentions this unnamed girl and I see an expression like intense pain cross her face and once again I feel the urge to comfort her but don’t and wait for her to speak again which she does a long moment later.

“I fell for her hard, she was the first person I actually gave a shit about and all I could think about was her, spending time with her and even doing silly little romantic things with her. I ended up confessing my feelings to her and she said she felt the same way so we became a couple and things were really good. Well they were for the first month or so.” She pauses again with that same look of intense pain crossing her face once more, I don’t speak and she leaves me wondering what happened for a moment as she moves and sits down on the rocks in front of me before continuing her story.

“People kept telling me that she was no good, that she liked to sleep around and play with peoples feelings, I didn’t believe a word they said, she had been nothing but kind and caring to me plus I was madly in love with her. They were all right of course, the whole time we were together she was also with like, I don’t know how many other people but I know about at least five, both guys and girls. I caught her one day making out with a guy with his hands down her trousers, I was pissed and confronted her about it but she said it was a moment of weakness and she truly loved me and like an idiot I believed her.” She starts crying and has to stop speaking as her tears fall and this time I can’t help myself ass I reach out and lay a hand on her leg meaning to comfort her which seems to work as she wipes her eyes and starts speaking again.

“Things went bad really quickly after that, she started forcing herself on me making me do all these things for her and to her that made me uncomfortable and like I was worthless. I think a part of me wanted to leave her but there were times where she was so nice and sweet and gentle with me that I thought she might just being going through a rough time and if I was there for her then she would go back to the kind loving girlfriend she had been at the start of our relationship. I was a fucking idiot but I was so in love with her and couldn’t imagine being without her, I mean she was the first person I ever cared about in any way at all.” She starts to cry again and I think about moving and wrapping her in a hug to try and comfort her even more but I doubt that it would be something that she would want right now so I don’t and just let her cry thinking about everything she has told me but as her tears slow down I realise she isn’t done with her story yet.

“She started to get physical with me, she was sporty and liked to work out, she was strong and well, I’m not, never have been. Usually if I refused to do something she wanted me to she would gaslight me and convince me I was the one in the wrong but at some point like three months or so into the relationship she started hitting me sometimes instead. I’ve never had a good pain tolerance and it hurt, it hurt so fucking much that I would do what she wanted just to get her to stop, the whole time she would tell me she was doing it because she loved me. She must have done it to people before or researched it or something because she knew where to hit to cause the worst pain and not leave a mark or if she did it was always somewhere I could easily cover it up.”

“I started to spiral, I was depressed and even suicidal but one day she hit me and I freaked out, I started screaming and shouting telling her that I was going to go to the police and tell them everything she had done to me, how she had forced herself on me, how she had beaten me and how she had made me steal and do other shit for her. I can still remember the way she had laughed at me and the exact words she had said, ‘you silly little bitch, you think they would believe someone like you I’ll just tell then you’ve been stalking and harassing me, I’m sure all my other boyfriends and girlfriends will back me up’. Her words made something break in me and I started lashing out at her, slapping and trying to punch her but she just laughed at me until I caught her across the face with my nails and cut her, she pulled out a knife and did this.” I watch as she pulls up her t shirt revealing a long vicious pink scar running from just below her left boob all the way down over her stomach to her hip and I can’t help but gasp at how someone could be so cruel to do such a thing to someone.

“I know, ugly right. Anyway, she ran off after she did that leaving the knife in me and leaving me to just bleed there in a quiet corner of a park miles from home. I was sure that I was going to die, that I was going to bleed to death right there stabbed by the only person I had ever loved, the only person I had ever cared about in any way at all. I guess I was lucky, some guy out walking his dog found me, unconscious and in a puddle of my own blood, he called an ambulance and I was rushed to hospital where they managed to stitch me up and obviously save my life. The police visited me in the hospital like a week later asking me what had happened, who had stabbed me and why, I didn’t tell them anything, I was scared she would somehow find out then come and finish the job. It didn’t matter though they had her knife and had reports from people who had seen a girl running from the park with blood on her hands so they connected the dots and after talking to some of my friends and my parents they found out that I was dating this girl who matched the de***********ion they were given.”

I want to tell her that I’m sorry this happened to her, that I hoped that the girl who did it was rotting in prison with no chance of ever getting out, that I can’t imagine how traumatising that must have been for her. I want to tell her how strong I think she is for having survived that and still be able to live her life without hiding away somewhere and never going outside, how strong or brave, or maybe even crazy, she is for still being able to approach and talk to strangers then spend the day with them like she had with me. Most of all I want to tell her that the scar doesn’t make her ugly like she seems to think it does but actually makes her more beautiful because it shows how strong she is, that knowing what she has been through makes me respect her a lot and maybe most importantly that I forgive her for not showing up yesterday. Before I can say anything though she speaks again with her words bringing tears to my eyes.

“A few weeks later I was still in the hospital and the police told me that they had arrested her and had enough evidence to send her to prison for a very long time, that didn’t make me feel better like they seemed to think it would but actually made me feel worse. You would think that I would hate her after everything that she did to me and while I kind of do now when I was in the hospital then I didn’t, I was still in love with her and being alone in the hospital I started to think that maybe what she had done was my fault. I thought that I had done something that made her like that, I couldn’t stop thinking that and with all the time I spent alone in the hospital it made me go a bit crazy to the point where I tried to throw myself out if a fifth story window. I was obviously stopped but I was freaking out badly, like really badly, so much that they put me in a padded room and everything, I think that was good though because they made me go to a therapist who put me medication that helps and now almost two years later I’m doing much better.” It sounds like Elena has finished her story but again I’m about to speak when she stops me by looking down and away from for the first time since she started speaking and then speaks quietly.

“You probably think I’m a freak and want nothing to do with me now.” She says with her voice almost a whisper and sounding like she is about to cry again but this time I’m not worried about interrupting her story so speak.

“I don’t think you’re a freak, I think you’ve had a tough time and I think you’re strong for having been able to survive it. You’re wrong to think I want nothing to do with you, I was so angry and upset when you didn’t show up yesterday, I waited for over an hour for you.” I tell her feeling the emotion of anger rise back up as I admit how long I waited for her but also feel it battling with the sympathy I feel for her after hearing her story.

“You really waited that long?” She asks looking up at me with a shocked expression like she can’t believe that I had waited that long for her to show up.

“Yeah, I did. I don’t get it though why were you scared to meet me?” I ask wondering why she was scared to meet me, if she thought I had something to do with this crazy abusive ex girlfriend from her story.

“I’ve only ever cared about two people, one was my ex, the second I only met two days ago when I dragged her along the beach, you. I was scared because the last person I cared about was a raging bitch and guess I was scared that history was going to repeat itself.” She tells me making me feel offended that she thought I might turn out to as much of a bitch as her ex but also making me want to know what she meant when she said she cares about me and why her saying that made my heart race so fast it felt like it was about to beat out of my chest.

“What do you mean you care about me?” I ask her desperate to know what her words mean and what it could mean for this I suppose you could call friendship developing between us.

“It’s hard to explain, I’ll try but only if you answer my question first.” She says with a smirk on her face that makes me feel frustrated but I’m also curious about what her question could be so I nod my head to let her know I’ll answer her question.

“Why did you wait an hour for me?” She asks voicing one of the questions I had hoped she wouldn’t ask because I don’t know if I should give her a simple answer like I was bored or of I should tell her the truth especially with her having just poured out her heart to me with the story about her ex.

“It was more like an hour and a half. I waited so long because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I guess I just hoped you were running late or something.” I tell her expecting her to make fun of me or tease me for admitting that I couldn’t stop thinking about her but instead she just laughed, a sweet musical laugh that made my heart race even faster while making me want to hear her laugh more even if it is at my expense.

“You seriously waited an hour and a half for me that’s crazy. I’m sorry I didn’t show up.” She tells me after her laugh dies off and she sounds guilty about her actions.

“Now answer my question, what do you mean you care about me?” I ask not sure what I want her answer to be and feeling more than a little anxious about what her answer will be.

“Ok, ok. I guess it means I feel the same way about you that you did me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I desperately wanted to see you again, I wanted to hold your hand like I did when we met. I guess I even wanted to hug you too, maybe even kiss you if you let me.” She spoke the last part about kissing me almost like it was a question like she was asking me if she could kiss me, the whole time she spoke she was blushing and seemed to have trouble looking at me like she was embarrassed.

I don’t know what to think about what she has just said to me, I mean had she just asked if she can kiss me in a weird roundabout way and if she had how does that make me feel. I’ve only ever felt repulsed when someone has asked to kiss me before but I don’t feel that now instead I actually don’t know how I feel, I mean my heart is racing and I feel a kind of thrill hearing her say she wants to kiss me but I don’t know if I want to kiss her. I may not know if I want to kiss her or not but what I do know is that I can’t stop thinking about Elena to the point where I had imagined her there with me as I masturbated only as few hours ago which is a first for me. The more I think about it the more I start to see things that make think that there is something different about Elena and the way I feel about her because not only was there my fantasy about her earlier, how much I wanted to see her again or even the way she keeps making my heart race but there is the way I wanted to comfort her when she was telling me the story about her ex and there was also the things I’d felt when she held my hand when we were exploring.

“Please say something Riley.” Elena says sounding desperate and scared like she is worried about what I’m going to say and I can’t blame her after she poured her heart out to me.

“I guess I should probably tell you my story and how much of a freak I am.” I say feeling nervous and scared that she won’t want anything to do with me after I tell her all about myself. I don’t hold back and I tell her all about how I’ve never been romantically or even sexually attracted to anyone but myself.

“The way I feel about you is so weird though, I’ve never felt like this about anyone not even myself. I don’t know if it is feelings of romance or sexually attraction or what the hell it is but every time I think about you my heart starts to race like crazy, then there was how I felt when you held my hand, how soft your skin was and how good it felt to feel you gripping my hand. I don’t understand any of it and then there was this morning.” I hadn’t meant to mention what had happened this morning and the fantasy but it just slips out and I can feel the embarrassed and shocked expression plastered on my face.

“What happened this morning?” She asks leaning forward towards me with an almost cheeky smile on her face as I feel myself blushing like crazy, I think about telling her nothing but after a moment I decide not to lie to her and tell her the truth.

“I said that I’m attracted to myself, which is true and this morning I saw myself in a full body mirror while I was wearing this bikini and I got turned on. My sexual fantasies have never included anyone else before, I’ve always been alone but you were there, I imagined you were anyway, you were sat on the bed watching me finger myself while you were doing the same thing.” I tell her quickly wanting to get it out in the open all the while feeling my whole face burning from how much I’m blushing with embarrassment as I can’t bring myself to look at Elena.

“Wow, that sounds hot.” She gasps sounding shocked but at the same time there is an almost rough and husky quality to her voice that makes me look up to see her softly biting her bottom lip.

“It’s confusing, I don’t understand any of what I’m feeling. I don’t like it, it scares me.” I admit to her feeling vulnerable as I’m being more open and honest with her than I have with anyone before.

“Maybe I can help you figure it out, would you be ok with that?” She asks softly while holding eye contact and with such a tender expression on her face that it takes my breath away and leaves me speechless and only able to nod my head in agreement.

“Ok, how does this feel?” She asks softly as she reaches out and takes hold of my hands with her own and squeezes gently making me gasp from the butterflies in my stomach that her touch causes.

“Your skin is so soft.” I whisper breathily barely recognising my own voice, Elena smiles at my words but after a moment she withdraws her hands much to my disappointment.

“Ok, how does this make you feel?” She asks shuffling closer to me and wrapping her arms around me in an embrace that isn’t exactly tight but also isn’t exactly loose.

“Your body is so warm.” I say in that same breathy whisper as I feel my arms moving to wrap around her almost as if they are acting on their own.

“Ok but how does it make you feel?” She asks with her breath tickling across my ear and making me gasp at the strange yet very pleasant sensation.

“I have butterflies in my stomach. Can… Can we stay like this for a little bit?” I ask feeling nervous and more than a little bit embarrassed about my question.

“I’d really like that.” She whispers and I can hear the smile on her face then she tightens her embrace and rest her head on my shoulder sending those butterflies in my stomach into overdrive.

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything and I’d never force you to do something you don’t want to but can I please kiss you?” Elena asks after taking her head off of my shoulder and pulling back to look me in the eyes while managing to keep her arms around me.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before I’ve always found the idea kind of gross, so why do I want to let you?” I ask her not expecting an answer but wanting to voice my confusion and see what her reaction to that confusion is.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured into it and have it make you hate me.” She tells me almost like she is trying to convince me against letting her kiss me which she actually might be doing because of trauma from her ex.

“If you are going to kiss me then kiss me.” I say firmly because even though the idea has always made me uncomfortable and kind of grossed out I find myself wanting her to kiss me.

“Are you sure?” She asks with a look of what can only be interpreted as excitement spreading across her face, now that the possibility seems like a certainty I’m unable to speak and have to nod my head to let her know that I am sure.

Elena slowly moves her face forward puckering her lips and letting her eyes drift closed, I don’t know how to kiss having never done it before so I mimic her actions until suddenly our lips are pressed together and we are kissing. I notice a couple of things straight away like how soft yet full her lips are almost as if they are design just for this, I also pick up on a certain smell that I think of being the smell of her, the smell of fresh fruits, sea breeze and something sugary and sweet. I had never thought that I would ever kiss someone but now that I am kissing someone I find that I actually like it but I don’t if that is just that I like kissing or that I like kissing Elena who’s lips feel like soft velvet like pillows.

I find it strange but also thrilling how everything around us seems to melt away until only Elena and I remain with our lips and bodies pressed together and our arms around each other. I really enjoy the feeling of her soft full lips on my own, the feel of her curvy body pressed against me and how her arms hold me against her but at the same time it scares me because I feel like my entire world has just been turn upside down. I think that what I’m feeling right now is attraction and for the first time ever it is for someone who isn’t myself, I don’t know if it is a romantic attraction or a sexual attraction but whichever it is does scare me because of how unusual and unknown the feeling is but I also like it quite a bit.

“So how did that feel?” Elena asks while taking deep breaths with a big smile on her face after she takes her lips away from mine but continues to hold me in her embrace.

“Scary, exciting and so fucking good. I never thought I’d kiss someone let alone enjoy it.” I reply feeling breathless taking breaths as deep as Elena’s with a smile on my face so big that it physically hurts my cheeks and jaw.

“You look happy enough.” She comments as she leans forward and rests her head on my shoulder again like she had before we kissed.

“I am but I’ve never felt like this, it’s scary and what happens when I have to go home, I’ve only got a week left here.” I tell her in a rush while feeling so many conflicting emotions that makes the smile slip off my face and has me about ready to cry because I’ve finally found someone in attracted to who isn’t myself and in a week I will have to leave and probably never see her again.

“Well first of all we make as much of this week as we can, when you have to leave we can text, call and video chat with each other like a long distance relationship.” She sounds like she is trying to be positive about this situation but it sounds forced and I’m sure that she is actually rather upset which makes two of us.

“Will you kiss me again?” I ask wanting to drive away some of that sadness I’m sure that she is feeling but also wanting to feel that same sensation I had when we had kissed mere moments ago.

“Are you sure?” She mutters into my shoulder not lifting her head up to speak and sending vibrations from her voice into my body which with her head on my bare skin has me wanting to moan almost like I do when I masturbate but I hold it back.

“If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t ask.” I state firmly wanting her to know that she doesn’t need to ask if I’m sure when I ask her to kiss me, I can feel her face move against my shoulder and I know that she is now smiling which makes me smile.

“I’ll remember that for next time.” She tells me as she leans back to look at me while still leaving her arms around me like she had before we shared our first kiss.

“What makes you so sure there will be a next time?” I ask teasing her while trying to keep the cheeky smile off of my face but failing completely with the smile spreading across my face.

“Let’s just call it wishful thinking.” She laughs with that same musical laugh as earlier which along with the big smile that lights up her face makes me feel a whole lot of things I’ve never felt before.

I know I had asked Elena to kiss me but seeing her laughing and smiling like she is makes me feel the urge to be the one to initiate the kiss and when she stops laughing I lean forward and remembering how we had done it last time I kiss her. This kiss starts off just like the last one soft and tender with our mouths closed and our lips locked together but that suddenly changes when I feel her mouth slowly open almost like she isn’t sure if she should do this but she does it anyway and in response I copy her. The kiss quickly turns rather intense after that with one of her hands lightly trailing up the bare skin of my back until it reaches the bottom of my head and she wraps my long strawberry blonde hair around her hand and holds my head so our lips are pressed even more tightly together.

I may have not kissed anyone before but I have seen my friends with their boyfriends and even people in movies and TV shows making out and I’m sure that is what Elena and I are doing now. It feels almost like we need to feel each others lips more than we need to breath with us barely taking our lips away from the others to take quick deep gasps of air before bringing our lips right back together again. I get a bit of a shock when I feel Elena’s tongue trace across my lips just inside of my mouth but almost as if by instinct I move my own tongue and bring it into contact with hers and as I do I can’t help but bring one of my hands up to her shoulder blades and pull her hard against me so I can feel every curve of her body against mine.

I can feel myself getting more and more aroused the more that we kiss to the point where I can feel my nipples are hard and rubbing against Elena’s boobs through my bikini top and her t shirt and bra with every small movement we make, most of all though is that I can feel moisture leaking out of and coating my pussy. I’ve never been aroused by another person before so the fact that I am now is weird and kind of frightening for me but at the same time it makes me feel more normal as I’ve always felt like a freak for getting turned on only by myself. I can feel small intense yet pleasurable shocks travelling through my body as every slight movement we make cause my now almost painfully hard nipples to rub against my bikini top almost making me moan into Elena’s mouth as we continue to make out.

“That was… Wow.” I whisper trailing off and pausing a moment unable to find the right words to describe just how our little make out session had made me feel.

“I know right, your lips are like addictive.” Elena whispers back breathing as deeply as I am and I notice how her eyes travel first from my eyes to my lips and then down my bikini top and my very obviously erect nipples.

“That was, urm, rather, well intense.” I tell her tripping over my words and once again not being able to find or say the words that I want say to let her know what effect us making out actually had on me.

“I was very tempted to try and drag you off to somewhere a bit more private.” She laughs softly like she is trying to play it off as a joke but the way she bites her lower lip and her eyes go to my lips make me think that she was really considering it.

“Well, I mean we could go to my hotel room.” I tell her feeling embarrassed and then blushing so much that I probably look like a lobster because only after I speak do I remember that I told her about the fantasy I had including her in my hotel room earlier.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea, I don’t think I would be able to hold myself back if we were alone together like that.” She says sounding almost embarrassed as I was when inviting her back to my hotel room but her words send a thrill through me.

“What if I don’t want you to hold back?” I ask her not trying to tease her this time but meaning what I say and wanting to experiment more.

“Don’t tease me like that.” Her words come out almost like a moan almost like what I said has caused her some kind of strain or maybe even pleasure.

“What if I say that I’m not teasing you?” I question her feeling bold and charged full of a sexual energy that I desperately need to release.

“Riley please.” She groans sounding like she is frustrated and I’m driving her crazy which makes me realise that she thinks I’m teasing her when I’m not.

“I’m not teasing you Elena, please come back to my hotel room with me.” I tell her almost begging with her to come to my room with me because right now I want to be able to do more than make out on the beach while no doubt being watched by middle aged men.

“I don’t want us to rush into this, I want us to take this slow.” She informs me making me groan as I become the frustrated one now because I don’t think she understands the urgency we have to move at.

“I have just under a week before I have to travel a couple hundred miles back home where I will probably never get to be in the same room with you again. You’re the first person I’ve ever felt like this about, you’ve been my first kiss and I want you to be my first everything else too so please come back to my hotel room with me.” I quickly explain my reasoning for wanting to move so fast with whatever this is between us.

“Fine, I’ll come back with you but I can’t promise anything more than what we’ve already done.” She tells me making me wonder what happened to the girl who was saying that she didn’t think she would be able to hold herself back if we went back to my room.

“That’s ok, I’d rather we kiss in private anyway, I don’t like the idea that we are giving all these old men a show.” I tell her glancing off to the side at the beach that is still full of middle aged people men and women alike.

It takes is a moment to unwrap ourselves from each other and stand up then when we do I quickly grab one of Elena’s hands making her look down at our clasped hands before a smile spreads across her face and she gives my hand a small squeeze. We spend the entire walk back to my hotel room with our hands clasped together while talking about everything and nothing at the same time as we get to know each other more but one thing she says makes me stumble and stop walking. The thing that Elena says that make me stop walking and turn to look at her is that she doesn’t really like the beach and the only reason she was there today was to look for me so she could apologise and explain why she hadn’t turned up when we were supposed to meet yesterday.

“Can I kiss you? I really want to kiss you right now.” I tell her feeling special in a way no one has made me feel before because she had gone out of her way to look for me today.

“Are you going to ask permission to kiss me every time you want to?” She asks with that laugh that I love hearing and makes my heart race.

“Yeah I am, I don’t want to do anything that could bring up trauma from your ex.” I say wanting her to know that I don’t want to do anything that could hurt her or make her think that I am like her horrible ex.

“Caring, considerate and cute, has anyone ever told you that you’re the perfect girl?” She ask with a soft laugh making me wonder if she is being serious or if she is teasing me.

“Don’t tease me like that.” I pout after deciding that she teasing me and actually feeling a bit hurt by it because my parents have always said I’m not much of a girl because I’m not interested in domestic things like being able to cook and clean and I dread being a housewife which is what they both seem to think women should be.

“I’m not teasing you. You can kiss me, I’d like it if you did.” She tells me making me feel a bit silly for assuming that she was teasing me but at the same time cheering me up because now I get to kiss her and I really like kissing her.

“That was a quick kiss.” She comments after an admittedly quick kiss and I get the sense that it wasn’t as special for her as it was for me after all she had been in a relationship before but before today I’d never kissed anyone so every kiss with her has been special.

“I’m saving the better ones for when we get back to the hotel.” I tell her thinking that I had done pretty well covering up the disappointment I felt at her not thinking the kiss was as special as I did.

“I like the sound of that.” She says with a big smile spreading across her lips which just make me want to lean forward and kiss her again.

“Come on, let’s hurry up.” I say as I start to walk off down the street pulling her with me as we are still holding hands, I want to hurry up because I can’t wait to get to the hotel and into my room where I can kiss her even more.

We don’t have to go far to get to the hotel and we make it there quickly as I pull Elena a long at a rather fast pace even though I’m wearing sandals and almost trip over a couple of time due to my pace. I walk quickly because I want to get to the hotel as fast as possible because I feel like we will both be more comfortable kissing in the privacy of my hotel room than we were on the beach which I feel like could lead to us doing more even though she said she couldn’t promise anything more than kissing. My heart feels like a jackhammer and like it is about to beat it’s way out of my chest, I don’t remember ever being this excited about anything and don’t think I have ever been excited about the idea of being alone with someone especially not in such a private setting.

2.

I close my hotel room door behind us with a big part of wanting Elena to be right there behind me so when I turn around we can start kissing straight away but when I turn around I see that she has walked off into the room and is standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror looking at it then at the bed and finally at me before repeating her actions again. I feel myself start to blush and even feel embarrassed as I remember that I had told her about the fantasy I had when I was standing in front of the mirror fingering myself to an orgasm, the fantasy of Elena sitting on the bed watching me and fingering herself to an orgasm.

“Is this the mirror?” She asks putting emphasis on the word the so it almost sounds like it has a capital T.

“Yeah, that’s it.” I mutter feeling self conscious and totally exposed even though I still have on my bikini which makes me blush hard.

“Let me guess, I was sitting right here.” She says moving over to the bed and slowly sitting down in almost the exact spot where I had imagined her in my fantasy.

“Y… Yeah.” I stutter feeling the blush spread until my whole body feels like it is on fire and I can’t take feeling so exposed anymore and move over to a chair in the corner of the room where I have a thin hoodie that I pick up meaning to put it on.

“Hey, what are you… Oh, I get it.” Elena’s words confuse me and I see her stand up and start to walk towards me as I pull on the hoodie.

I stand there frozen in place as Elena walks across the room until she is standing in front of me making me feel nervous as her gaze travels from my eyes to the hoodie I just pulled on. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when she suddenly reaches out and using both hands at the same time she pushes the hoodie off of my shoulders making it fall down my arms, I start to move to pull the hoodie back on but before I can do so Elena grabs the wrists of the hoodie and pulls it off of me then throws it across the room onto the bed. I don’t know why she is doing this as she must be able to see that it is making me feel uncomfortable but then she reaches down and grips the bottom of her t shirt and pulls it up and off before throwing it to the same spot where she had thrown my hoodie.

“There, now we’re the same. Except you’re way prettier and don’t have this ugly thing.” She say with a smile that turns into a frown as she gestures to the long scar running down her body where her psycho ex had attacked her, cut her open and left her for dead.

That feeling of being uncomfortable doesn’t leave me even though she is standing there in front of me without her t shirt on because while I’m in a bikini that covers practically nothing, except my nipples and pussy, she is wearing a pair of shorts that comes part way down her thighs and a bra that covers almost all of her boobs. The difference in our states of undress isn’t the only thing that makes me feel uncomfortable as I find myself thinking about the fantasy I had this morning and how it could become a reality but I’m not sure if I would want it to be the same in reality as it was in the fantasy because I find myself wanting to touch her. I find myself comparing myself to her too with things like how her boobs are bigger than mine, her hips wider and her waist and stomach skinnier than mine but I can also see how she feels self conscious and thinks that she is ugly because of her large scar.

“You’re gorgeous, nothing about you is ugly not even this scar, it just shows that you are strong and a survivor.” I tell her hearing my voice become husky as I trail a couple of fingers down and then back up her scar making her gasp at the feel of my fingers on her bare stomach.

“Have you really never been in a relationship or anything before you are way too good at making me feel beautiful and important.” Elena says with a soft laugh but I can tell that she does doubt my claim of having never been in a relationship or even attracted to anyone before.

“I have honestly never been in a relationship before, I’ve never done anything even remotely romantic or sexual with anyone before. I just have a lot of insecure friends.” I tell her seriously before adding on the bit about my friends with a laugh that also makes her laugh that musical laugh that I realise is her real laugh not like the one she had let out when she had spoken that felt kind of monotone.

“Well make sure to thank your friends for me.” She says with another of those musical laughs that makes my heart race and makes me want to kiss her.

“No need, I’d say those things to you anyway because they’re true.” I tell her before feeling bad about it as I see tears in her eyes as she lunges forward and wraps her arms around me pulling me into a very tight hug.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m sorry.” I apologise as I softly trace circles on her back just below her bra straps as I try to make her feel better and stop crying.

“They’re not sad tears, they’re happy tears.” Her voice is shaky as she speaks and I can hear the emotion in her which let’s me know that she is telling the truth.

“Ever since my ex I’ve felt ugly and like I’m a freak or broken but you make me feel pretty and well not normal but better than normal. I probably sound crazy saying this so soon after meeting you but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you Riley.” Her words make my heart leap and start to race at a million miles an hour and make it feel like there is a swarm of hyperactive butterflies in my stomach.

“I’ve never been in love so I don’t know if that is what I feel but I do know that you make my heart race and give me butterflies in my stomach and when I think about hugging or kissing you I feel like I’d want it to never end.” I tell her trying to figure out if what I feel for her is really love or if it is something else.

“I think that is love or it at least sounds like it.” She says sounding excited and drawing back slightly to look at me while leaving her arms around me.

We both seem to move at the same time and lean forward towards each other where we kiss in an open mouthed kiss much like when we had been making out in the beach. The kiss gives me the same feeling as I had gotten while we were making out at the beach with the hotel room around us seeming to fall away until all that is left is the two of us with our lips locked together and our bodies pressed against each other. I’ve never felt quite as excited and aroused as I do when I feel Elena’s tongue tentatively trace my lips making me respond by reaching out with my own tongue and touching hers, we move almost by instinct as our tongues dance with each other first in my mouth and then hers before my own again.

The whole time we are kissing we are also taking small and slow steps heading towards the bed then when we finally reach it we don’t stop with Elena falling backwards onto the bed and me falling softly on top of her which makes us both laugh. Her laugh isn’t the musical laugh that I enjoy hearing so much but actually sounds breathy and husky like she is aroused which if she is would make two of us. The moment that our laughs die off our lips are straight back on each others with our tongues dancing together first in my mouth and then hers, being on top of Elena like this is mind blowing and I can’t believe how good it feels and how aroused I am by having her beneath me with my almost naked body pressed against her bra and shorts covered body while we make out like our lives depend on it.

The things I’m feeling right now are so now and so overwhelming that my head starts to feel kind of fuzzy but at the same time I feel super aware of both Elena’s and my own bodies to the point where I can feel every little movement we make. The things that I notice the most are how hard and erect my nipples are, that even through my bikini top and her bra I can feel that Elena’s nipples are hard and the one that surprises me the most is how she keeps lifting and lowering her hips almost like she is trying to grind herself against me. It blows my mind she is basically grinding herself against me as we make out on the bed with myself on top of her and all I can think about as she moves her hips against me is how much I wish that neither of us were wearing any clothes.

I had stretched out my hands when we fell onto the bed in an attempt to not land on top of her with all of my weight but as she moves her hips and things get more and more intense between us I subconsciously move one of my hands and slide it between our bodies where I bring it into contact with one of her bra covered boobs. The moment that my hand comes into contact with her boob Elena pulls back away from me slightly stopping our make out session just long enough for us to both take a couple deep gasps of air and for her to moan softly before bringing her lips straight back to mine. I massively enjoy the sound of her moan and the other little ways she shows that she is enjoying my actions like how she pushes her chest up into my hand and starts to move her hips faster and harder against me.

The way she moves her body and the small moans that she makes into my mouth every few seconds as I massage her boob through her bra has me more aroused than I have ever been and I find myself getting more bold. I find myself feeling so aroused and bold that massaging her boob through her bra is no longer enough and giving her enough time to tell me to stop if she wanted I slip my hand inside her bra against her bare breast. Her boob is supple and her skin is soft and it feels so good then I find her nipple, her nipple is rock hard and standing out like a small bullet pointing up at me and the moment the fingers of my hand come into contact with it Elena draws back from our kiss letting out a moan of pleasure.

“Is this ok?” I ask wanting to make sure that I’m not making her uncomfortable or going too far with my actions.

“Yes, please don’t stop.” She tells me in a breathy whisper with her eyes closed and a look of ecstatic pleasure on her face that gives me an idea.

I crawl up on the bed tucking my legs underneath me and on either side of her body so I am straddling her and slowly pull the straps of her bra off of her shoulder the pull the cups of the bra down revealing her boobs to me. Her breasts are like a work of art and I take a short moment to admire them, they are lying almost flat on her chest as she is lying on her back making them look smaller than they are but even then they look perfect. I have the urge to lower my face down to one of her boobs and slowly trail my tongue around the nipple before sucking it into my mouth, I’m not sure where the desire to suck her nipple comes from but I feel like it would be almost crossing a line so instead I bring both of my hands down taking hold of a boob in each hand.

I start to repeat the actions that I had been using when I first touched her boob and start to massage them, I softly squeeze and move her tits in the same kind of way that I would do to myself which makes her moan louder than before. I keep my actions the same for a moment or two before changing it up by circling around both her nipples with my thumbs at the same time which much to my enjoyment makes her moan louder and try to push her chest up towards me. I gently use one hand to push her back down on the bed and start to massage her breasts again, I keep this up for a little while before again circling her nipples with my thumbs but I don’t stop there this time and after I circle them a couple of times I then roll those hard bullets of flesh between my fingers.

“Oh fuck.” Elena moans as I stop rolling her nipples between my fingers and go back to massaging her entire boobs.

“You’re boobs are perfect.” I tell her barely recognising my voice because of how husky it is but loving how sexual I sound which turns me on even more but not as much as what Elena says next.

“Take off… Your top… Need to… Feel your, oh fuck.” She tells me her speech halting as she stops after every couple of words to moan, I’m sure that she had meant to end her sentence differently but I gently pinch her nipples which causes her to moan and finish speaking in a way I don’t think she meant to.