My parents got divorced when I was eleven and my mother immediately
remarried. She dragged my sister and I from our sleepy Florida town
to a city up north, into the new family’s big old house in the burbs. We
were thrown into an entirely new situation that included a new stepfather,
a cat, three dogs,… and my new stepsister Linda.
She was just six weeks older than me, and we became instant friends.
She introduced me to the sons in the hood, among other things. I don’t
know whether it was from my having been to a Catholic elementary school or
what, but she couldn’t believe how naive I was. I knew how the “S” word
was spelled, but had never heard it spoken aloud – until she said it, no
doubt causing me to gasp in shock. When she said the “F” word, I didn’t
bat an eye because I had never even heard of it. Then she explained what
it meant, and at first I couldn’t believe her. My mom? And your Dad? Do
that? No way! After mulling it over for a while, I found that it might be
an explanation for some things I had already observed. When I questioned
my mother, I could tell by her evasive choice of words and her attitude
that it was the truth.
Linda had also enlightened me about a few other choice words and
expressions, such as BONER and BLOWJOB. Whether from the erotic suggestion
or from my natural progession into adolescence, soon I began to get my own
boners. I think that I had played “doctor” with anyone that would join me,
as far back as I can remember. With this new combination of Linda, her
budding young body, her knowlege, her lack of inhibitions, and my newfound
boners – this was becoming really interesting.
When I would start to sport in the evenings, I would run excitedly
from my room into hers. Closing the door, I would show it to her, proudly,
sticking right up out of my pj’s. She would grab it and stroke it gently,
which felt great. One time she even popped it into her mouth, which was
really fabulous. I would love to entertain you with a nice detailed
blowjob story (my whole life would probably be different!); but the truth
is that I was a hairless young boy who had never had an orgasm yet, and it
was only for half a minute, anyway.
Time marched on and hair grew. My friend Carl showed me how to jerk
off by rubbing the head of my dick with a soft blanket, and I have been
pretty well hooked ever since (though I don’t use a blanket anymore, and
it’s more like once per week now instead of five times per day!) I began
to want – and need – some serious sex. Unfortunately, Linda was maturing
faster and was beginning to distance herself from me, either in favor of
actual dates with boyfriends or because she had real titties now. In any
case, she was becoming more inhibited.
I will never know how far she went with these dates, because she
wouldn’t share this type of information anymore. But one thing I did know:
she still had an itch that needed scratching. I knew because of a weird
little game that we developed.
I never cared much about backrubs, but Linda (and most women, I have
found) love them. Since our parents were always out on Saturday nights,
we would be home alone in her room watching the double feature monster
movies. The only light would be from the little black and white TV set,
and we would be lazing around in our pj’s. Linda would ask, “Give me a
backrub, would you?”
I can still picture it now. She is sitting to my right on the edge
of the daybed, and she moves her legs up behind me and lies down on her
stomach with her face towards the TV. Her firm little butt is just
touching mine. I reach up under her pajama top and begin to scratch her
back gently with my fingernails, making little circles around her
shoulders. I keep moving these circles around to include her shoulder-
blades and the center of her back. Then I change to using my fingers and
the flat of my hand to press firmly against her. This causes the pajama
top to ride up at least halfway. I continue rubbing her all over her
back. Her eyes are closed now.
I gently ask, “Linda?” and get no response. Is she asleep? I am not
sure; let’s find out. I know that she would never let me feel her up if
she were awake. I slowly move my left hand down under her armpit,
massaging all the way. As I continue further down her ribcage, soon I am
at the place where the breast swells out. Her boobs are small, like
grapefruit halves, but there is no mistaking the smooth curve, accented
even more because she is lying on them. The bad news is that I can’t
reach the nipple, but I get so excited tickling the soft side skin that
I start to get a raging boner.
Technically, this isn’t a “back” rub anymore, and I’m prepared to
retreat fast if she wakes up and says anything. But she doesn’t – not
yet, anyway. I gently reach my right hand over to her left shoulder and
pull her up slightly. My left hand snakes gently under towards the nipple.
My heart stops as she mumbles! She twists onto her right side, bending her
knees slightly behind me. Her pajama top is still halfway up her chest.
She still appears to be sleeping soundly. Now I can stroke my hand slowly
up her side under the pajama top, stopping at the curve of her breast. I
keep smoothly rubbing her, not yet working up to the coveted nipple. This
is partly due to a lack of courage ( I really don’t want to get caught and
piss her off) and partly due to the bothersome question: is this a form
of rape?
Of my various fantasies, my violent raping of a woman is not one I
particularly enjoy. Although I’m still a virgin, in my heart I’m a lover,
not a fighter. Although I have to admit that certain movie rape scenes
have caused a twinge in my dick, still it ranks way on down near the
bottom of the list, right near the one where I pop some other guy’s dick
in my mouth. These thoughts have crashed some of my fantasy parties, but
they were never invited.
I like to think that I don’t have a violent or malicious bone in my
body. If anything, I love Linda and will admit it if pressed. However,
one specific bone in my body is winning the internal struggle. Yes, even
at my tender age of fourteen I am already learning the life lesson of
thinking with my little head.
Slowly but surely I inch my fingertips up over the curve of her left
breast. At last I find the little bump, sticking up firmly. It feels
nothing like mine, which are just little flaps of limp skin. Her nipple
is more like part of an ear – hard but pliable. I rub it between my thumb
and fingers, and it gets even harder and bigger. Linda gives a little
moan. Quickly I jerk my hand back and put it in my lap on top of my
throbbing dick. As I watch her, Linda still seems to be sleeping. I
notice that she must be clenching her thighs together, because she is
flexing her left thigh and her butt muscles. She then shifts a little bit
so that her left leg bends some more, gently kneeing me in the back, and
her right leg straightens out some. This is great news, because my
desire to feel her tits was nothing compared to my desire to
investigate her pussy.
She is wearing these little shorty loose-fitting bottoms, with elastic
on the legs. I shift around sideways to get better access with my hand,
but there isn’t room on the daybed anymore so I just sit on the floor.
Actually, I kneel up and over her thighs and gently pull the elastic band
up from her exposed left leg. I slowly snake my right hand up under the
fabric. Her bare skin feels really hot and smooth. I am so excited now
that I feel I could squirt in the air without even a single touch to my
dick. My hand continues up to the curve of her butt. I find I have to
move my elbow down by her knee to contort my arm to continue up under the
elastic barrier. I slowly move up over the curve until my hand is cupping
her left cheek. Then I slowly spin it down, sideways, into her crack.
The fabric is partially in my way now, but with the progress that my
fingertips made I can feel extreme heat and the fuzzy edges of her pubic
hair.
I drop the legband from my left hand so that it rests up on my right
forearm. I move it over her butt and tug the crotch down and away from
her pussy area. She actually wiggles a little bit to help make it happen!
My right hand is now touching the back end of her labia, through the fuzz.
I have never been this far with a girl before, although I guess it doesn’t
really count since we’re not making out or anything. I start to trail my
right fingertips down over her pussy lips, watching her face carefully in
case she wakes up. Her mouth is slightly open and she is breathing
audibly, but not like a sound sleep type of slow rhythm. Her butt is
starting to quiver a little as though she is cold. I wonder if I should
cover her up with a blanket.
Instead I keep working my fingertips around over her labia all the way
to the front of her pussy, where it gets seriously hairy. I move back up
and over the mysterious folds toward her butt again, and this time I detect
a spot that feels a little bit slippery. I start rubbing my finger back
and forth where it slides so easily, and freeze as Linda makes a little
moaning noise. She is quivering a lot more now and sort of working her
left leg back and forth slightly as though she were running in place. Her
eyes are firmly shut. I continue rubbing, but my eyes are glued to hers,
just in case.
As I slip up and down the slick spot on her pussy lips, the slippery
area starts to grow. My fingertips travel farther as the available
distance increases. Linda continues to quiver. I then notice that my
finger is actually slipping down between some of the folds. I am still
rubbing back and forth, but within the folds now. I press inwards to try
to get inside, but – no dice. I move back up to the top of the folds and
discover another inner space, even wetter. This time my fingers slide in
easily – it’s even wetter in here. My middle and ring fingers are in up
to the nails. Linda makes a little whimper and her quivering is a little
more jerky and sporadic, not like a shiver from the cold. I withdraw my
ring finger and insert my middle finger up to the first knuckle, but my
arm is getting to be really contorted now and her top leg is kind of in
the way. I put my left hand down behind her top knee and gently tug it up
so that her legs are more spread apart, watching her face the whole time.
She slides right up, but her pajama bottoms are tending to move with her.
I withdraw my hand totally, reluctantly. But her left leg is now about
ninety degrees up from her lower leg, almost at the edge of the daybed.
My knees are killing me, but in my excitement I hadn’t noticed. There
is now room for me up on the bed, between her legs and below her left foot.
I move up there, behind her. This time I go for her lower, straight right
leg and grab the fabric from the crotch area and gently pull it out away
from her. There is more room to move here; in fact, I think I can pull
the elastic out far enough to see her pussy. The light from the TV is not
enough to see very well, but I stick my head right down there to look. All
I can see is a mass of dark curly hair, but – Oh, my God – the heavenly
smell! It hadn’t even occurred to me that I would be able to smell it.
My nose is very sensitive – maybe I should have been a wine-taster. I
am completely bowled over by the aroma that those slippery juices give off.
If I hadn’t loved Linda before, I fell head over heels now. I move closer
and closer to her secret perfume spot with my face, inhaling the air deeply.
I have since learned that the buzz I am enjoying is caused by a group of
chemicals called “pheremones” – but right now I don’t care about a thing
except not waking Linda up. As I get closer to her pussy, I can see a
little better. I can barely make out the labia; they are sort of puffed
up and out – not like little sister’s when I saw her in the bathtub. I
have the elastic pulled as far as possible out to her bent left leg in an
attempt to get as close as possible. I am on my knees bent down with my
butt in the air and my face inches from her pussy. My aching dick feels
like it is made of stone. I am having a hard time trying to inhale as
deeply as possible but without exhaling so much that she will feel my
breath on her.
I get really daring and stick my tongue out to touch her labia.
From this close, the aroma is making my head spin into total euphoria. I
move even closer and lick gently up and down. I can hear Linda moan, so I
jerk upright; her eyes are still shut tight, although she is writhing and
humping her lower body slightly. I get back down immediately and plunge
my tongue right in. My nose goes right up to her butthole, but the pussy
aroma is all I can notice – all I live for at this moment. Linda moans
and straightens her bent left leg, and turns back onto her tummy, giving
me a heart attack and forcing my head out quickly; then I see that she has
bent both legs and pointed her butt up into the air, sleeping like a
little baby!
After a second, I grab her butt gently and wait for a response –
nothing. I grab the waistband of her pajama bottoms and slowly pull them
down over her hips and then the curve of her butt. I can get them all the
way down to past her legbands. Her pussy is fully exposed now, and I can
see it better with the improved lighting angle. The labia are still a
series of secretive folds, but the big mystery is gone because there are
two distinct halves visible. I take my middle finger and gently plunge it
between these halves. To my surprise, she wiggles back on it, impaling it
further than I would have even dared. She is moaning and quivering now,
with my finger up her. The rest of my fingers are in the way of further
penetration, so I remove it and insert my index finger instead. She moans
and wiggles back on it more! The walls of her pussy feel like the softest
slippery silk, like the inside of a little but deep toothless mouth.
I curve my finger a bit to investigate this new territory. About an
inch up, I can feel a somewhat round shape towards the front. I am
guessing that this must be the “cherry” – it is just the right shape and
size. How interesting – it is not a resisting barrier. I guess she must
have gone all the way already with someone. It feels as though another
finger might fit in her, so I pull my index out and add my already wet
middle finger. As I continue probing and stroking the sides, she moans
and wiggles spasmodically. Since she still pushes back, and since I don’t
feel any resistance, and since my dick is leaking all kinds of slick juice
from the excitement, I wonder whether I could get away with positioning
myself to stick it in.
I get up to where it is close, but her butt is not far back enough to
make contact without actually laying on top of her. I guess I could do it
if there were a trapeze hanging from the ceiling. There is just not going
to be a way to get in her without waking her up, and I bet she would kill
me if she wakes up and finds out what is going on.
Oh, well. I have food for solo fantasies for the rest of my life
now, without the ultimate violation. Anyway, I don’t have a rubber; what
if she got pregnant?
As a consolation, I decide to try to at least lick her pussy –
something I have only heard about. This time I stand up and put my left
foot over her on the far side of the daybed so that I am straddling her
and looking at her butt upside down. With my left hand I pull her pajama
bottoms just a little further down her legs; I straighten my right arm on
the daybed and lean way over. I swoop my face down to that beautiful and
mysterious spot once again. With my face nearly upside down, my nose is
bumping right up against the front of her slit, and if I thought the smell
was great before – it was even better now.
Without hesitating I plunge my tongue into her. She moans again
and shoves her butt up to my face for better access. I lick up the full
length to the front of her slit and diddle around, experimenting, looking
for the legendary clit. She begins to grunt “mmph!” as she starts to hump
the air beneath her. I pop up for a second to make sure that she is still
asleep, and then go back to town. She resumes her humping and grunting as
I resume toying with what seems to be the right spot. My boner is killing
me, aching to plunge into her. I keep on flicking my tongue back and
forth, in and out, and she keeps on gyrating her hips around, faster and
faster, around and around. As she keeps getting even wetter, I am finding
out that the taste of her pussy juice is wonderful. I have never been this
turned on in my short life, and I can’t tell whether it’s because of the
smell, the taste, or the texture – but it certainly is her pussy that’s
causing it.
I am getting carried away, constantly flicking my tongue even faster
and covering her entire pussy with my mouth as though we were having a
really wild and sloppy French kiss. Sometimes I slow my tongue down to
guage her reaction, which she unconsciously makes clear by her moans and
by the wiggling of her butt; sometimes I move it in and out, sometimes in
circles one way and then the other, sometimes back and forth, sometimes in
combinations of these.
After a few minutes of this, her humping just can’t get any faster.
I can’t really tell if her hips are moving now – they are locked rigid,
motionless, yet at the same time they are moving so fast that they seem
to be vibrating. Oh, man; I think she may be coming! The very idea is
so exciting that I’m afraid my dick is going to explode. Her pussy is
starting to make these gulping noises, kind of like farts, but more like
kissing the air. Also, each time she exhales she is letting out a really
long grunting sound; it sounds like some African animal charging. She
makes these loud groans for at least five or six breaths. Now I’m more
worried that she will wake HERSELF up.
I am not sure whether to hang on tight or run away before she wakes
up. I decide to stand up and get ready to bolt. Still trembling, her hips
very slowly sink down to the surface of the daybed. I pull her pajama
bottoms up over her butt at the last minute. In the glow from the TV test
pattern, I look at her closed eyes once again and notice that she has sort
of rosy cheeks and a very light glow of sweat all over her face. She is
beginning to breathe more normally as I leave the room. At the top of the
stairs, before going down to my own room, I grab my swollen dick and give
it one really good hard squeeze. Without even a single pull, I gasp as I
shoot out all over the stairway wallpaper. Through my blurred vision I
can see a big blob of my goo on the far wall, way up near the ceiling. I
don’t think I can reach that high to wipe it off, even if I wanted to.
So… about this game: was she feigning sleep or not? I suspect so
but I will never know for sure. But I do know that there were many other
such incidents. I can remember at least once that she BEGGED me to come
upstairs and rub her back. But sometimes I couldn’t take the frustration
of the one-way trip.
If only she had said, “I’ll make it worth your while…” THAT’S the
real food for some of my fantasies, even today, 30 years later.