My heart was fluttering like it was home to a thousand butterflies and my
chest felt so tight I could barely breath. The emotional intensity leading
up to the act I was about to commit was awesome and, I knew from experience,
was part of the reason I did this. Part of what drove me to act this way. I
guess some would categorize it as a fetish but that word carries a lot of
baggage and has lost its meaning somehow. I guess the fact I derive sexual
satisfaction from what I do puts me outside the mainstream, maybe that is
partly why I do it, but the truth is I get such a high, such emotional
fulfilment and extreme physical pleasure, I genuinely believe the need to do
this is part of me, part of my coding, not some rationalized preference.
My brain is so overwhelmed by the emotional battles going on in my soul that
the physical act of driving to the mall takes place on autopilot. As my
wreck of a car coughed its way along the freeway through the Saturday
traffic I play out the likely outcomes of the act I am about to commit. It
was not the first time I had gone naked in public so I knew some of the
likely consequences but I had never gone as far as I planned to today, never
actually performed a sex act in public. There were still many unknowns that
kept playing over in my mind.
What if I meet someone I know? The long drive to another town makes
itunlikely, but what if
a colleague is visiting a friend and they decide to go to the mall? What
will security do? What will the reaction of the shoppers be? I am used
tobeing spat at and applauded, sometimes at the same time, but what
will the
reaction be when I take it to the next stage?
I pull up in the parking lot and wait for a space close to the entrance.
With the engine off and the key hidden under the passenger seat the hot sun
begins to warm the car. I put my head back and close my eyes, enjoying the
warmth on my body after the chill of the aircon. My pussy begins to tingle
in anticipation as I flick back through the pages of the mental book called
My Depravity.
It started by accident. My swimsuit slipping when I was in the pool,
exposing my budding teenage breasts to my fellow swimmers. I should have
been ashamed, but instead a now familiar tingle rippled through my sex.
After that first time I got gradually braver, each new level heightening the
risk, and the thrill. First it was wearing very revealing clothes, then
flashing my panties, then wearing loose tops and flashing my tits, then
losing the panties and flashing my pussy up my skirt.
Each step brought with it new thrills and new risks. The first time I went
naked was way out in the woods, no chance of being seen but my first real
feeling of freedom. Then came the naked hikes. The first time I was seen
completely nude was on a hike. I was wearing nothing but trainers and
arucksack. The two guys stopped and stared as I strode past, my cool
exterior
covering the inner turmoil I felt at the liberation of being naked in their
presence mixed with the fear of their reaction. When they were finally out
of sight I fell to the ground and began to rub my pussy hard and fast,
bringing myself to the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced.
As I became more and more adventurous the levels of pleasure and emotion
increased. It was if I was only truly alive when I was naked in public.
Every other emotion, even the sex act itself, paled into insignificance
against the thrill of flashing.
The heat was becoming unbearable. I slipped off my sneakers and wriggled out
of my skirt. After a quick check that no one was looking (why do I always do
that?) I pulled off my t-shirt., looking down briefly at my naked form. My
small breasts were topped with brown erect nipples that forced their way
forward away from my flat skinny torso. My thin legs came together at a full
lipped pussy topped with a tuft of pubic hair, already wet with
anticipation.
The heat was too much. I opened the door and stepped out. My transformation
from ‘Allison who works in IT’ to ‘The Other Me’ complete. Naked I felt
free. I felt alive. This was it, heading into the unknown.
I had been naked here before. Twice. It was a smallish mall but perfect for
me, particularly as it was long way from home and not the kind of
destination mall you would travel from the city to get to.
But today was different.
I still was not sure if I could go through with it. I had stopped short
twice before, not daring to complete the act that had come to be an
obsession.
The first looks. Some guys in the parking lot notice me and whistle. I smile
but do not stop, I’ve learnt that momentum counts for a lot and while my
heart is fluttering in my chest and my pussy is aching with lust it is best
not to stop walking.
The doors to the mall glide open and a gust of cool air tickles my naked
skin. The sensation of cool air against the dampness of my exposed pussy
sends a shiver up my spine.
I sense eyes on me, then a hush descends for a few seconds as those around
me stop and stare. Next come the hushed whispers and comments then the
outspoken reaction. I hear the usual mix of words uttered around me.
“Awesome”, “Disgusting”, “What the hell”, “Cool”, Holy Shit”, “Jesus” , and,
most frequently, simply “Look at her”.
The reaction travels like a Doppler effect as I walk. Quiet ahead of me and
comments behind. I smile as I walk. This is what I live for. I am the centre
of everything around me, I will be talked about for days, yet I am
anonymous, no one knows who I am or where I came from. I am “The Naked Chick
I Saw In The Mall Once” to hundreds of people. Husbands and Sons will think
of me later as they shut their eyes and jack off, dreaming of my body. Wives
will rub their pussies in the shower wishing they had the balls to do what I
am doing, imagining the sense of freedom I feel when I am naked. Couples
will have great sex tonight, turned on by seeing me, but unable or unwilling
to admit it to their partners.
I see the bench in front of me and my heart pounds. ‘Do it’, I tell myself,
‘this is it, this is the time, don’t back off, this is your dream’.
My pace slows. My legs feel like jelly. The voices of doubt are taking over.
I can not do it. Flashing is fine, but to stop and… well it’s just too
risky. They might lock me up, if I get arrested I will be all over the
media. It will be the end of my job. The end of my life. I would have
tomove away,
a long way away. What would I say to my family, my friends?
I pass the bench. First I feel relieved, but then an overwhelming sense of
disappointment and anger takes over. I need to do this. Flashing is not
enough now. I need something more to get back the thrill. I need the
risk tofeel alive.
Another bench. I can barely breathe now, I have to force my legs to work for
me, to take me forward towards the destiny I have chosen.
Reaching the bench I sit and close my eyes momentarily, trying to bring my
emotions under control. Now I am so close the drive to perform takes over, I
begin to build the confidence to do it. I open my eyes. There is a small
group gathered nearby, mostly guys pretending like they are not staring at
me or waiting to see what will happen.
Slowly I open my legs. A feeling of euphoria begins to build in me. This is
it! I am going to do it. After all the weeks and months of fantasising over
this moment I am finally going to do it for real.
I reach down and touch my pussy, sending little sparks through my nervous
system. I am wet, very wet. I slide my middle fingers down my slit and open
my pussy, exposing my most intimate place to whoever wants to look.
A small crowd has gathered now. Mostly guy’s but a few couples too. There
are a few hushed gasps and whispers as I perform.
Fuck this feels good. I slide my fingers together again and up to my clit
before burying my middle finger into my pussy.
Silence around me now. One woman drags her reluctant partner away, otherwise
the crowd are motionless. Slowly I begin to fuck myself with my fingers.
Rubbing my clit then plunging them back into my wet sex.
I’m feeling wild now. A base animal instinct takes over. I fuck myself
faster and faster, throwing my head around and grabbing at my tit’s with my
spare hand. I was groaning and panting like a wild animal.
It came quickly. Hitting me like a steam train. My body tensed, I sucked my
bottom lip in and held my fingers deep in my pussy. My whole body convulsed
with the power of the orgasm them I let out a yelp before collapsing back
with my eyes shut.
It must have been a while before I came to my senses. “Is she OK”, I
heard awoman’s voice say.
I opened my eyes. There was a big group of onlookers now. I felt a huge
sense of release and satisfaction. I had done it. I had fucked myself in
public, in front of a group of strangers.
I realised my legs were still open, exposing my gaping pussy to the
onlookers. Slowly I shut my legs and stood, having to push myself up off the
bench as my legs were still weak with the power of my climax.
The crowd parted like the red sea as I walked towards them, opening up my
route to the exit. I was smiling now. Not a little smile but a big grin. I
had just experienced the biggest thrill of my life and I knew I would be
back for more.