Sometimes things happen that can shatter the image you have
of who you are. Given the proper motivation, the right
incentive any man will give in. It may not be his fault but
sometimes, thick, brown, smelly shit just happens.
About eight months ago it happened to me. It ruined my
life. My therapist thought it would help if I wrote it all
down. Here is a list of things that John Pressman never
thought he would do.
1. See a Therapist.
2. Talk about personal feelings.
3. Cry like a bitch
4. Seriously consider suicide
5. Seriously consider divorce
6. Well…I’m not ready to talk about #6 yet.
I guess I should start at the beginning. I met Susan when
we were in college. We were just good friends for years.
The first time I saw her I knew I was in trouble. She was
so fucking beautiful it was distracting. I mean it was
almost unfair. I completely lost my composure. It was
puzzling, how could anyone be that perfect.
As we got to know each other I found I really liked her–as
a person. In fact I think I over compensated, I convinced
myself we were just friends, that as pretty as she was
somehow I was not interested n that way. It was clearly a
defense mechanism. I mean I’m a pretty good looking guy but
she was taller, better looking and had an amazing
personality. I did not think I had a chance with her so I
took the Just Friends route. The thing is Just Friends
became BEST Friends.
Over the next 4 years we became inseparable. Between phone
calls, e-mails, and spending most of our free time together
it was incredible. I remember teasing her about her lousy
taste in men. Similarly she seemed to absolutely loathe
every girl I dated. I think by Senior year we were starting
to figure out why none of our relationships seemed to work
out. Every woman I met was held up to Susan’s standard and
fell woefully short. Blonde hair yes, but out of a bottle.
Nice tits, sure but not mouth wateringly perfect like my
good pal Susan’s. Sweet ass, yeah I guess so but not juicy
and firm as Susan’s. Personality? Funny? Kind? No, no,
no…they just were not good enough.
I found out later Susan was comparing the guys she dated to
me. We both were scared about screwing up an amazing
friendship so, we waited, and stalled, and hemmed, and
hawed until…it was too late. We graduated. She moved back
home to San Jose, while I took a job in N.Y. We spent our
last night together on campus, visiting our favorite hang
outs. As the evening drew to a close I knew I was making a
horrible mistake. How could I let her go?
Suddenly she took a chance and pulled me into her arms that
final night and told me how special I was, how much it
would hurt to lose me. We were moving to opposite sides of
the country. She demanded that I promise we would always be
this close. She fit so snug, so absolutely perfect. This
woman belonged against me, pressed into me, nestled with me
forever. I knew it. It was a moment of total clarity, a
true AHA! Gutless bastard that I was I did not kiss her, I
did not tell her that I loved her. I just held her for a
long time, made some chicken shit assurances and let her
That could have been the end, should have really. Five
months went by. I was doing well as a (very) junior ad exec
in a growing firm. I had helped land a major client who was
about to seek representation elsewhere. My boss got most of
the credit but the right people noticed.
About a month later a senior position opened up in our San
Francisco office. My boss was offered the job, and asked if
I would like to move with him. My new job paid more, I
would have my own staff, and the company would help cover
my moving expenses. I had always been a New Yorker and
liked what I was doing. I was fresh out of school and still
learning the ropes. I thought it would be years before I
could hope to land this kind of job. Was I ready? I took
the night to think it over. I went home, made dinner fired
up my computer and soon heard a familiar voice say, “You’ve
got mail.” Mixed in with the inevitable AOL spam, was a
letter from Susan.
“John it’s been weeks since we talked, or even e-mailed,
and I wanted to catch up. I’d hate to think we would ever
become one of those friends who were close in college and
don’t see again until our 10 year reunion. You mean too
much to me. God I miss you so much! It seems strange not
being able to come over and just hang out or watch tv
together. I never realized how hard it would be. I know
your busy with work and stuff, and I guess I am too
but…John I hope we can find a way to stay in touch. Geez
I know I sound like a big pile of feminine girly-mush. I
should probably cancel this message right now but…I’m
going to hit send before I wimp out. Right…NOW!!”
I know it sounds dorky but I read her message a dozen times
that night Susan was reaching out to me, (again) and we
both knew it. I did not respond to her, but I told my boss
the next day that I wanted the San Francisco job. That was
Wednesday. By Friday I was in Sunny California. Friday
afternoon I was at Susan’s apartment, ringing her bell
trying not to piss my pants. The look on her face when she
opened the door was priceless. Tears welled up in her eyes
and her hands were trembling.
“Hey Suze, got your e-mail. Thought I’d stop by for a
visit”, I said as we laughed, and then hugged each other
hard. This time I did not stop there. I gave her the kiss
that I should have that last night in college. The kiss
that I had wanted to give since I met her over 4 years ago.
And it was as simple as that. We both knew. That first kiss
was our declaration of love. Our commitment to love and
protect each other. I felt like shouting to the world
“Susan is mine! She belongs to me, and I love her!” I felt
like I had wasted years already. I had almost lost her
forever when I moved to New York. I was tired of going slow
with her. We dated heavily for a month or so, and then I
asked her to move in with me. She said yes. But when she
did I made a confession.
“Susan, you make me so happy thanks for moving in with me,
I love you. I love everything about you except…well
except your last name. I think Susan Pressman would sound a
lot better. I don’t want to just live with you. I want to
marry you. I want to be your husband, partner, lover, best
friend–I want it all. I want to build a life with you, I
want to be your children’s father, I want to put my ring on
your finger and let everyone know that you are my property,
and that I am your slave. Susan, please baby will you marry
me?” I said as I dropped to one knee and put my life in her
“Yes! Yes! YES!!” she shrieked at the top of her lungs
before dropping to her knees and falling into my arms,
laughing, crying, giggling like a crazy person.
We were married two months later and everything seemed to
be going our way. Within four months my boss suffered a
severe heart attack and to everyone’s surprise (especially
my own) named me his successor. The work was hard and I had
to put in a lot of long hours. Monday through Thursday I
averaged 10 hour days.
But Friday at five until Monday morning at 8 belonged to
the woman I loved. We would often spend the whole weekend
in bed. She was the single most important thing in the
world to me and she knew it. I did regret not giving her a
real honeymoon. I wanted a month alone with my Susan. It
was almost three years before I could swing it but finally
I found the time. I told her he could go anywhere she
wanted, Hawaii, Paris, no restrictions. My goofy lover said
she wanted to drive cross country with me. The most
romantic thing she could think of would be to have me alone
in a car for 8 hours a day, to spend every moment with the
man she loved. Damn, I gotta tell you that does wonders for
a guy’s ego. Her only restriction was that I could not
bring my cell phone. She allowed me to check e-mail every
other day. We planned to take our time, see the sights.
We mapped out a route that took us to several local
attractions, and major cities. The first week was amazing.
We visited Hollywood, took in the Grand Canyon, and gambled
in Las vegas (I won $4,000). We were making good time to
Houston when our rental car broke down in the middle of
nowhere. It would have been nice to have a cell phone (Real
fucking nice). Instead I got out and did my best impression
of a man who had a clue as to what might be wrong. I
loosened caps and jiggled wires, before proclaiming that
the car was “broken.” We decided to walk back to the rest
area that we had passed about 2 miles back.
The sun was setting and the handful of cars who had passed
refused to stop. It took about a half hour to reach the
rest stop. Susan went to the ladies room to freshen up, and
I went to the phone to call AAA. There were a couple of
cars and 3 or 4 motor cycles in the area. I was on the
phone for about 5 minutes when I heard a woman say in a
loud voice: “No! let me pass, leave me alone.” I knew that
voice, it was my wife’s! I put down the phone and ran
around the corner to the ladies room. Three men and one
young girl had formed a circle around Susan.
She looked terrified. I knew I could not take on three men
by myself and Susan did not seem to be in immediate danger
so I ran back to see if I could get some help.
All the cars were gone. Only the motor cycles remained. My
hands were shaking as I dialed 911.
“Police is this an emergency…yes sir calm down, where are
you…ok stay right there, the nearest car is about 40
minutes away. AAAAIGGHH HELP, HELP!!!” I dropped the phone
and ran to help my wife.
I’ll never forget the sight of my wife, her shirt was off
and the biker bitch was playing with her tits through her
bra, while her men laughed. I picked up a beer bottle from
the trash and ran towards them. I cracked the big one over
the back of the head and he went down. I waved the jagged
neck around wildly as I fought my way to Susan. The look of
adoration, of sheer joy from absolute despair that lit up
her face touched me deeply. She quickly bent down and
picked up two hand sized rocks and we faced the three
bikers left, together.
“We don’t want trouble. Just take your friend and let us
go. I have already called the police and they will be here
in a few minutes. ” I said as we waved our weapons in their
direction menacingly. It was a standoff, until the big guy
I had hit got to his feet. And pulled his gun.
“Drop em, or you die right now!” he snarled. We had no
choice. I gave him my wallet and asked him to leave us in
“I like you little fella, ya got guts. You tackled the 4 of
us and almost pulled it off. You gave me your money without
me having to ask, that was real smart. I’m gong to let you
live. Heck I’ll let you go right now. When I’m through with
your wife you can have her back.”
“Whu, whut do you mean, what are you going to do to my
“We are going to rape her, long and hard and nasty. Don’t
worry Beth here will lick her real good before we fuck her
cunt and her ass so she shouldn’t get hut too bad. Usually
we make the guy watch, but like I said, I like you so you
don’t have to. One thing though, if the police come back
here, she is dead. We are all three time losers, so we
can’t afford to get caught.” Susan was sobbing hysterically
and the 4 bikers were laughing ad sneering in anticipation
of raping her. Beth kissed her roughly and resumed playing
with Susan’s tits.
Suddenly she reached behind and undid the clasps on my
wife’s bra. Susan tried to cover up but Beth would not let
her. The leader with the gun told Susan to strip.
“Beth leave her be. I want her to take those jeans off,
remove her panties and bend over this table so I can rape
her.” My beautiful, innocent wife lost it at that point.
“Please. please don’t do this, oh god no, don’t rape me,
don’t make me.
John do something, help me!”
I stood there and watched as the woman I loved more than
anything was about to be destroyed. Our lives were about to
be ruined. I could not leave her, and I could not bear to
watch her violation. I had to do something, I had to try.
My macho instincts told me to go rambo-ninja apeshit, to go
down fighting, to try and jump the guy with the gun,
wrestle it away somehow, kill them all for daring to look
at my Susan that way. I wanted to do that…but I knew I
would not succeed. Most likely that plan would get me
killed, my wife would still get raped, and probably
murdered afterwards to eliminate all witnesses. No, what I
needed was to stall, to allow the police time to arrive. To
this day I don’t know where the idea came from.
“Leave her alone. Take me instead,” a voice said. It took
me a minute to realize that it was my own.
It got really quiet then. Everyone stopped looking at my
wife and turned to me.
“Lil fella, what are you talking about, we ain’t no
faggots. I got a beautiful woman why the fuck would we give
her up to fuck you?” he laughed.
You got to remember I am in advertising. I spend every day
convincing people to buy things they don’t need, don’t
want. I overcome objections and put my product in the best
possible light. It’s what I do, and I’m damned good at it.
I size up my client and create an ad campaign custom
tailored to win them over. This was my greatest challenge,
my most important pitch.
I would not fail.
First of all I reviewed what I knew about them. They were
strong, worked as a unit, experienced and liked to utterly
dominate and humiliate. I could use that.
“Look I know you are not gay but I think you are missing an
incredible opportunity here. First off you should know my
wife has herpes. Check my wallet, this is why I have to
wear a condom even though we are married. Sure you could
rape her but think about how much nastier it would be to
rape me. In front of my own wife. I will lick, and kiss and
suck you all. I’ll be your hot and willing he-bitch on the
outside. But on the inside… you know how much I’ll hate
it, hate all of you. Oh god it is going to be so
humiliating, so degrading. I’ll just have to take it, I’ll
just have to smile, and suck, and swallow–while you gang
rape me and the woman I love has to watch. The reality is
my wife is already shutting down, going into shock. You
might as well fuck a corpse. You say you have all been to
jail… are you telling me none of you have ever forced a
weaker man to satisfy you sexually? How did it feel to have
him hold his ass open while you pounded him? Did you enjoy
having some helpless boy suck your smelly dicks. Oh, I
promise I would suck you so fucking good. I’ll swallow
every drop. Do any fucking thing you want to me and I swear
I will smile and ask, no humbly beg for more. I am yours.
Only… please, god, please god spare my wife,” I pleaded
as hot tears came down my face and I sank to the floor and
kissed the leader’s boot.
I glanced at Susan and she was clearly stunned by my offer.
I don’t think she realized until then just how much I loved
her, how precious she was to me. You see I know that I had
already hurt her once. Not through any action on my part
but through my complete gutless inaction I had let her come
to harm, failed to show her that I loved her, to claim her
as my own. I had almost lost the woman I loved then. IT.
Would. Never. Happen. Again. NOBODY fucks my wife but me. I
PROTECT her. I would die for this woman. But dying would
not be enough to save her. So I would let myself be raped
for her. The thing that seemed to amaze her was that this
was not even a hard decision for me. A part of me had
passed love and crossed the line into insanity. I was
looking forward to demonstrating my devotion, to proving
that our love was stronger than their sick hatred. The
bikers talked it over, for about a minute.
“Ok, little fella you make a good point. We can have a
regular rape anytime. This could be fun. But if we are
gonna do this we need rules. There are four of us. We each
get one turn with you, and can do anything we want. You
have to make a real effort to make love to us while your
wife watches. You have to make each of us cum until we are
satisfied. If you do, fine you win, you and your wife are
free to go. But if you can’t make us all cum, or if you
resist… your wife becomes our bitch-slut for a week. I
promise you we’ll break the little stuck up snob. I have a
lot of friends, and I like to share. Do we have a deal…
good! Hop on our hawgs and let’s get to our motel room
before the Pigs show up.”
Me, Beth and my wife all rode behind one of the men. It was
surreal as our little convoy zipped down the highway. I had
my arms wrapped tight around the stomach of a man who was
about to rape the shit out of me. My wife clutched another
man close, and I knew he would just love to get his dick
inside her tight little hole. We passed by our broken
rental car and I could not believe the motel was less than
a mile away from our car. If we had walked forward instead
of back to the rest area none of this would have happened.
We never would have met these assholes. We did not pass
anyone or have a chance to signal for help. They led us at
gunpoint into a large room with two double beds, and a
I remember thinking this could not be happening, I was
about to be humiliated, brutalized, raped in front of my
wife. I have never hated four human beings as much as I did
this scum. For the first time in my life I wished I was one
of those macho, athletic types. If I thought for even a
second that I had a chance I’d go for it. Susan had already
proven she would stand by me, help me fight. It was
tempting but four on two, where four are bigger stronger,
and have a gun… that’s hopeless. I tried to resign myself
to my fate, to accept it, survive it. The first words out
of the big asshole’s mouth scared the shit out of me.
“Ok bitch get naked. I want to see your tits, and that
juicy ass right now.”
“Wha, what are you saying, you promised to leave her alone,
don’t do this!”
“I promised we would not fuck her, I said nothing about
getting a look, and a feel. Besides I want her to be ready,
I want to remind you of what is going to happen. If you
screw up, even once, we are going to fuck her right in
front of you.”
Susan was too scared to cry as Beth forcibly removed her
clothing. She was not gentle, snatching and jerking her top
and her jeans off. Soon she was down to just panties and a
“Take them off bitch, get on the bed and spread your legs
open so I can have a taste.”
Susan was shaking visibly as she got naked, and had
difficulty removing her bra. Finally her large firm breasts
were free. Then with a shudder and a sigh she pulled her
panties off. She tried to cover her privates, but it was no
use. She looked desperate, pathetic.
“John, help me, tell me what to do. I can’t take it,
I never felt so weak, so utterly fucking useless as I did
watching that bitch Beth and one of those goons hold my
wife down, and spread her open on that fucking bed. She was
screaming and bucking wildly, desperately but it was no
use. The third guy held the gun on me, and the leader got
on the bed and prepared to lick Susan’s pussy. He took his
time about it and savored he experience. First he nibbled
the fleshy part of her upper thigh, sucking and slowly
licking her meat. He blew softly on her well trimmed crotch
and then sunk a finger in her vagina. He was just playing
with her! Susan and I begged him to stop, to leave her
I pleaded with him to take me instead. He just kept licking
my wife. When he finally stuck his tongue in it was agony
to watch. I could see it wiggling around inside her pussy.
His hands were playing with her ass now, squeezing and
separating her cheeks. Beth had a meaty tit in one hand and
the other guy bent down to suck on the other one. I was
tempted to end it all, I was not thinking clearly. I was
about to attack the leader, I knew I would fail but I had
to TRY. That’s when he told them to stop.
“Ok John it’s your turn. Take your clothes off and then put
your wife’s bra and panties on. Beth will get you some
lipstick. Take your time, we’ll play with your wife while
you change,” he said as he went back to sucking on Susan,
greedily licking, and lapping and slurping my wife’s pussy.
It took less than a minute to rip my clothes off. I grabbed
her pink lace panties and squeezed into them as best I
could. The bra took a little longer. Susan is a 38DD and I
am not a large man so it fit, but I had difficulty getting
it closed. Finally I twisted it around, hooked it and then
twisted it back.
There was little time for me to think, I was on Auto pilot,
my wife was being orally molested and needed me. I kept
telling her to “hang on, that it was almost over.” Beth
smeared cherry red lipstick on me and I was ready. The
leader looked up from my wife’s wet cunt and smiled at me.
“You look very pretty John. I can’t wait to rape you. I’ll
go first, then mad-dog, then Beth, and then Skull crusher.
You remind me of a sweet little boy bitch I had the last
time I was in the joint. We were together for three years.
I’m no faggot, but I kinda miss the little fella. Your wife
is going to sit on the couch, with her cunt wet and wide
open. If she closes her legs she will be punished. Come
over here and sit on my lap sweetie.”
Susan reached out to me, as they dragged her to the couch,
we hugged briefly and I told her I would be ok, that it
would be over soon. I then walked to the leader and
gingerly, awkwardly sat on his lap. His strong arms wrapped
around me and he began nuzzling me, and kissing my neck
softly. He slowly worked his way to my lips.
“Open your mouth baby and give me that hot little tongue of
yours. I want to taste that sweet, wet mouth,” he said with
a feverish, lust filled leer.
I glanced up to see Susan and that was all the incentive I
needed. Her legs were gapped wide and I just knew if I
hesitated the others would gladly rape her. They were
messing with her tits a little but that was all. So far.
As I look back on it, I hate to admit it but he really was
a good kisser. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking hated it, him,
the situation… but on a purely sensual technique level…
well it was not bad. I guess it surprised me. I mean I’m no
Mr. macho, and while I don’t have strong feelings against
gays (some of my best friends are gay, well ok one — and
maybe BEST friend is too strong, but I do like the guy, I
mean not sexually, but he is nice); my point is I am not,
nor have I ever been a member of the gay party.
Apparently though a good kiss is a good kiss. The leader
was slowly sucking on my lower lip, while holding me tight.
Then as I opened my mouth a little his tongue flicked
across my teeth and sent a little chill through me. The
first time he sucked me in, I panicked a little but, he
slowed down and let me get used to him.
“Play with my cock baby, get me nice and hard so I can
stick you good.”
I reached down and unzipped him. My rapist had a long, fat
cock. There was no way that was going to fit inside of my
ass! The idea of playing with another man’s cock was alien
to me, but I had to. I gently rolled him from cock head to
its base, while we made out. I felt him get hard in my
“So, good, so fucking good you hot little he-slut. I’ve
been kissing you, now I want you to straddle me and suck me
hard. Tell me how bad you want my cock inside of you. Tell
your wife that you never loved her, that I am all you need.
DO IT you fucking slut!”
My heart, my ears, my blood were pounding. I could barely
catch my breath. I put my legs on either side of the leader
and snuggled up tight against him. I could feel his cock
pressing into my stomach. I began to kiss him, suck him,
lick is face with abandon. It sickened me to say it but I
“Oh daddy, your little girl loves you. Please fuck me,
please rape me. I need it so bad. FUCK me now daddy, hurt
my hot little ass. Teach your virgin little boy-girl how to
ass fuck. I’m ready now daddy, I never liked having sex
with her. Her fat tits are disgusting, it’s your hairy
muscled chest that I need, that I love.”
Susan let out an audible gasp and screamed “No!” I had hurt
her, she thought I really was beginning to enjoy myself. I
wasn’t but I had to pretend to.
“What a little slut! Ok bitch I’m ready to rape you, since
you obviously need it. I want your wife to feel it. So here
is what we’re gonna do. She is going to lie down on her
back. You will lie on top of her with your cute little ass
sticking up. She can look you in the eye and hug you tight
while I rape your sweet ass.”
The others were laughing and cheering him on while my wife
and I got into position. Susan held me in her arms and
kissed me softly while we waited for him to stick me with
his monster cock.
“John baby, I’m so sorry. Hang on honey I’m here it will be
ok. Focus on me, pretend it is me. We are back home, in our
bed making love on a Saturday afternoon. I love you baby, I
will love only you forever,” my wife said through tears as
she held me tight.
The leader pulled my dry ass apart and spit into it a few
times. Then he lined his cock up with my anus and slowly
sank his dick inside of me.
“Arrrghhh! Shit! You are ripping me open, you are hurting
me! Oh god be gentle, please, let me get used to it. Slow
But he did not. He kept going deeper, harder, faster. I
knew I was bleeding some. Actually I guess that helped him
slide in easier. The pain was unbelievable. I laid my head
down on my wife’s chest and just cried and sobbed, and
whimpered like a baby. To have her see it, to have her feel
my body being power-fucked, to have my snot, and blood, and
tears, and shit, and his cum drip on the woman I loved was
the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The taunts
and jeers and lewd remarks from the assholes who were next
were hard to take to. This was not over. It was just the
“God you are one incredible lay. You are going through this
to save your wife? She obviously does not love you. I’m no
faggot. She could end this with a word. She could make a
deal to save you. All she has to do is tell us to stop, to
offer her hot, sexy, willing — FEMALE body to us and you
would be spared. Jesus fuck woman, how can you lay there
and let me rape your husband. Don’t you love him, even a
little. You know it is your place to be raped, it should be
you. What you are doing to him is cruel. He loves you
woman, you don’t deserve him.
Oh well, since you don’t care about him, why should I. Come
on slut, tell me that you love it. Fuck me back, squeeze my
cock in your ass. Come on little girl beg me to cum, make
me cum inside of you.”
I had to, I had to do it. Oh god, no, but I had to protect
“Please daddy, harder, I need it harder. RAPE ME DADDY! Rip
me open. Just fuck your little girl. I need it so bad, it
feels so good to have you inside me where you belong. I
love my strong daddy’s cock. You make my butt feel all warm
and tingly. Thank you daddy, I will always remember our
That did it, that pushed him over the edge. He grabbed my
hips and began pounding my ass hard, yanking me back to
meet his thrusts. It was wild, I was terrified as my rapist
split me open. I felt myself tear inside. He was humping me
now, pumping his dick into me as fast as he could. Finally
he screamed my name and came, and oozed his seed deep, down
in the bottom of my ass.
He left his cock inside me for several minutes while I
cried on my wife’s chest. She rocked me tight and told me
that what he said was not true, that she DID love me. The
Leader was kissing my back and neck while giving me a slow
I lightly sucked my wife’s nipple for comfort as it slowly
dawned on me. He was getting hard again. It did not hurt as
bad this time, as I was already loose, and lubed. He took
his time and savored my ass. He seemed almost thankful,
gentle. Perhaps he was recalling fond memories with his
prison lover, I don’t know. In a sick, sad way I was
grateful. By contrast this slow, tender rape was almost
pleasurable. I was sucking the tit that I loved, wrapped in
my wife’s loving arms. I was not in pain, and honestly it
was not nearly as humiliating the second time around. The
leader gently fucked me, rested, massaged kissed and
finally came inside of me a second time.
One down. Three to go.